i've woken up the past 3 mornings 2 my mom yelling at me and saying i was acting bitchy before i even opened my mouth. i'm not doing anything different & i dont usually talk when im tired in the morning so i go 2 the bathroom, wash my face, or w.e before i do anything else- meaning i dont even have contact with her at all. so idk why she keeps hassleing me in the morning but it ruins my whole day and then she tells me im the one being a bitch and whats wrong with me and yelling and i cant change my attatude to something less bitchy if im perfectly fine and i dont have any attatude in the first place.

ive tried calmly talking, ignoring her, and yelling back, but nothing works. what are some actions i could take.

wanted:
disney- for making every girl believe things would just work out with prince charming.
cupid- for ignoring me for so long, then turning two guys loose on me with "i love you"s at the same freeking time.

anyone have any good "i love two guys" music?

cuz im just listening to emo music.
boo.

~alli

jst putting another journal up, cuz i feel very melo-damatic looking back on that last one.

anywho- hi peoples! 3.5 days of school left!! woot!

so my day was going perfectly, i got up, read my book for like an hr b4 getting ready & going 2 a bbq where i got to hold my parent's friends' month-old daughter (she is the highlight of my day).

could my life get any better?

of course not. something horrible has to happen just cuz im a wee bit happy.

jj and i have been official since friday night. for the first time EVER in all our time of hooking up & being friends & whatever!! we were finally officialy boyfriend/girlfriend!!

guess what? my cousin found out. becky, his ex who has been telling me what a douche he is and how shes so happy with her boyfriend of a yr. she was making me feel so horrible about myself (along with jj's more recent ex who obtained my phone # and has been txting me every day trying 2 get me 2 break up with him, which makes my friend ashlyn- the only person ive told- that she has a hidden agenda of some sort.) that i was suicidal.

yes ladys and gents- i wanted 2 kill myself.

still do.

cuz guess what? now that ive told becky that i broke up with jj bc i cant live w.o her in my life (no matter how madly stupid for jj i am) she doesnt want 2 b in my life either!!

fancy that.

FML people. FML.

i swear to god people are NUTS!! i just wanted to try being with him- he is graduating in 2 weeks and then i will in all likelyhood never see him again and that is enough to make me cry but i was totally dealing with it and my life was perfect until other people got involved.

yes katlyn (jj's ex), i am well aware he cheeted on both u & becky. im not a blithering idiot in that aspect but since u tell me everything that goes on and love 2 keep me updated on how much more then me he loves u i dont think it will b 2 hard 2 know when hes cheeting and i should break up with him.

i need to get faded right now. yes i realize that is like the worst possible thing i could possibly say & i sound like a drunk but id rather drink & smoke myself into a stooper tonight & realize how stupid i was tomarrow then kill myself & not wake up 2maro.

im not going to get drunk off anything but root beer but im jst saying.

FML.

-Alli


"is it over yet? can i open my eyes? this is hard as it gets.. is this what it feels like to really cry.." -kelly clarkson; "cry"

going to the lake but stil hav that 1st ch of Max fanfiction up,
just chapter 1 but still..

if i dont keep going and remember to also do some Tales Of Forgotten Cove chapters while im at it, someone kick me.

[link]

enjoy!

~Alli